One Little White Pill

With sounds of Mother's Little Helper by The Rolling Stones, I start my day with one small little pill and a sip of water. Having never taken a valium before, I wasn't sure what to expect. It wasn't long before I found out what they meant when they said it would make me relax. I just hoped this "relaxing" didn't result in a mess in my shorts, cause this stuff was hitting me hard.


I gracefully stumbled into the oral surgeon's office, bouncing off the door jam with a diva's style and drunken grace. Up to the counter to check in, I make a grand attempt at appearing dignified despite the inability to even pronounce my own name.


With what sounded as nonsensical as the lyrics to One Week by Bare Naked Ladies, the receptionist began telling me of after care procedures, follow up appts (I think it's next week but I have no idea,) and prescriptions to be filled. I even made a payment with a blank! check! Should they be taking my money knowing I'm under the influence? and should I be signing forms? Did someone say "Go Ask Alice?" and Who's this Jefferson Airplane, or was it Starship?


I'm taken to a room in the back, hooked up to a heart monitor, and given an IV. Next thing I know I awake thinking "Wow! that wan't so bad!" "I'm not even sore." Then the doctor walks in apologizing for keeping me waiting (waiting, you mean we haven't done the thing yet?) Apparently while I was sleeping off my valium, some other patient thought they would be brave and have his teeth taken out while awake. This ill fated decison resulted in what the doctor described as "kicking and screaming" and "a battle to get the teeth out." Why, when given the option would anyone decide to be aware of their teeth being pulled?!


So, I say "Doc, give me the good stuff!" feeling great, I slip off to dreamland. (Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue)


I awake to a nurse telling me I'm all done. My mouth doesn't hurt but I literally have cotton mouth from all the gauze packing. Because the anethesia has not yet worn off; she wheels me out to the car which is probably best after my not so grande entrance. And I drive off into the sunset...not really, my friend actually did the driving, I slept, and it's the middle of the day, so no sunset, but we did drive off to make our way to the nearest drugstore because when this stuff wears off I have a feeling I'll be nursing a nonstop headache and wondering why I'm sleeping with my clothes on. (My Own Worst Enemy- Lit)

It's All Fun and Games Until

So, I met up with some friends last night, after work, for $1 Margaritas and tacos. It was a laid back but fun kind of atmosphere, think: One Love by Bob Marley. We laughed we ate, we, of course, had a few drinks (it was after all only $1 for a beer or rita.) The party (really just a small gathering of friends, but party just sounds better) broke up around 9:30 with everyone going there separate ways.

My husband and I went home relaxed from our evening out, where we were promptly greeted by our crazy dog who thinks he is a puppy and has this unbreakable desire to jump 4 feet in the air to greet us with kisses everytime we walk in the house.

This exciting greeting was followed by "Mom, come see this!" "Mom, help me with my project!" (16 year taking AP class translates to extra work for mom over the summer.) I then looked around my living room and wondered how in the world 2 teenage girls can make such a mess in 8 hours. Song playing in my head at this moment: "daduhdaduhdaduhda" as in the Wicked Witch theme from Wizard of OZ, you know when the cyclone has come through.

I help the girls, play with the dog, feed & pet the cat, get my gym clothes packed, set out my husband's uniform, do a load of laundry, take a shower, and finally climb in bed with hubby for a little Marvin Gaye:Let's get it on (only this was really just the song clip, because we were really tired.)

Wake up this morning, getting ready to leave for work when my work out partner calls me. Our friend, that was out with us last night, was arrested for DUI! I can't believe it! (song: Unbelievable by EMF)

Now this friend is very well respected, and typically has very good judgement, but when faced with letting her much more wasted friend drive, she apparently reasoned that she was ok, and made a judgemental error to get behind the wheel. She made it all the way home before being pulled over by an unmarked car that had followed her from the bar.

Hearing news that your friend has been arrested is not how anyone wants to start the day, but considering the alternatives of that phone call, given her impairment, I'll take the safely incarcerated option any day.

It has been quite a few hours, and she has since been released. She now faces court dates, and hearings, many many fines, alcohol abuse meetings, the loss of her license, (and subsequently her independence) insurance filings, and the embarrassment of telling her employer, and family.

Along with all of this, comes a learning for her and hopefully for many of our friends, that just because you think you're ok, doesn't mean you are, and just because you've driven under the influence before and didn't get caught, doesn't mean you should do it again.

I know I will be discussing this with my teenagers tonight, and reminding them that alcohol impairs everyone, no one is immune. No matter how professional, how church going, how smart, or how strong; to beer, whiskey, etc..no one is Superman! (Kryptonite by 3 doors down)