Post-it note Tuesday: Running the Gauntlet

I'm at the mall on my lunch break, and before I can even get to the store that I'm headed to, I have to run the gauntlet of kiosks. I'm sure you know of them, the little carts in the middle of the mall, that you try to rush by, before they spray you with some...who knows what kind of scent.

♪ Don't Stand so, don't stand so close to me♪  (The Police)

And, then there was the woman begging to let her show me her flat iron, by using it on my hair. I get it, it's a straightener, it straightens, yeah, back the frick up!

Then there's the phone guys: "Hi, Mam! How are you today?"
"Oh, I'm good, thanks."
"So, what kind of phone do you have?"

And that's the problem with these damn kiosks! I'm not even stopping to look at what they have and they're bugging me! If I'm looking for some sea salt scrub, or some candles, that you have to put another candle in to burn, then I'll stop and look, but if I'm just walking by, LEAVE ME ALONE!

I finally get where I'm going, and wage a large scale war against a pair of pants that insist they don't want to button, (when I know they really do,) another pair that won't go beyond my knees, (I haven't figured out how to suck in my thighs, yet) and a mirror that makes me look like an overstuffed sausage, (which, I am not, a sausage, that is...I am a little overstuffed.)
♪ Everybody was kung fu fighting hua♪  (Carl Douglas)

With my lunch hour over, I turn to once again run the gauntlet on my way back to the car. But this time, I have a plan:

♪ And I ran, I ran so far away♪  (Flock of Seagulls)


  1. OMG! These are too funny!! I hate them little carts in the mall.. they are like the damn mafia with their sprays and what not!!! Oh and dont even get me started on dressing room mirrors ugh!! lol when you figure out how to suck your thighs in let me know.. I could stand to learn that trick haha

  2. Those kiosk employees are trained to stey right in front of you and make eye contact, get you involved with them immediately, they must be aggressively compensated. Very annoying.


  3. These are great! I usually give the "talk to the hand" signal!

  4. Too funny! If you figure out how to suck in your thighs, you could be a millionaire!! And let me know the secret first!!

  5. The worst at my mall are the nail people, who try to sell you a $30 bottle of lotion and nail file. Sheesh.


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