I wish I was a Whore

♪ I like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain.♪  (Rupert Holmes)
I wish I liked wine, I really do. But, I don't.  I keep trying different ones because people tell me, "Oh, try this one you can taste the pears, or the strawberry, or this one has a mild buttery taste, etc..." So, I try it, and...Yuck!

Maybe my palate just isn't "distinguished enough," (said with pinkie in air in my best Charles Emerson Winchester III impersonation, you know real fancy like,) but I keep trying, and I don't taste anything fruit like! It just tastes like dry nasty rubbing alcohol! It's made from fruit, why doesn't it taste like juice?!

But, I really do wish I liked it, because then,
 I could be a Wine Whore and get a cool glass, like this!:

courtesy of The Wine Whore

But, I don't think I could get away with using it, when I don't like wine. What would I put in it? My milk?! (mmmm, it is a full bodied vintage with the essence of cow) Nope, don't think so. Then, I'd need a glass that said Whore Wannabe. ♪ I  tell ya what I want what I really really want♪  (Spice Girls)

I could make one of my own, but, Pina Colada, Guinness Drinkin', Jaeger  and Whiskey Whore, doesn't have the same ring! And, since, I lack the proper palette for wine, maybe I don't even qualify to be called a Whore, so, should I go with something like Shot Slut? ♪ Shot shot shot shot shots♪  (LMFAO)

Then, the next time I have a ♪ Whiskey Hangover♪  (Godsmack) I can blame it on my slutty ways.