Monday Minute: Secret Questions of Song and Poo


Monday Minute

This week's questions are...




1 - Have you ever had any feelings towards one of your teachers back in the day? I had some feelings for my teachers, alright! Man, did they make me mad, asking me to do my work, at home. What the heck?! Isn't that what school's for?! If I wanted to do homework, I would've been home-schooled! Duh!  Oh, yeah, and my ROTC Sergeant had the dreamy smile of Andrew McCarthy! *sigh* ♪ Oh, Dream weaver♪  (Anyone else picturing Garth in Wayne's World?)

2 - What's the most embarrassing thing that happened while at work? So, I was in HR's office, when all of a sudden...Pop! Oh my freakin Gawd! My bra, just snapped! And my size G boob is laying on the freaking floor! I'm all hunched over trying to hide it, with one hand on my boob, and she's cracking up as she closes the blinds on her office, and tries to find me a safety pin. We finally get it fixed, and I leave all red in the face, but glad it was only her. Just then, as I'm walking back through the 20 or so people that report to me, just then, the damn safety pin breaks under the weight, and like slow motion my girl is falling once more to the floor, and their is no hiding something of that size... ♪ Catch me now I'm falling♪  (Pretty Poison)

3 - When was the last time you crapped yourself sharted? This week's questions may as well be the story of my most embarrassing moments! WTH?! Who comes up with this stuff?! So, It was in the second grade. I was at PE, and my stomach was hurting, but there was no way I was going poo in school, in that one little classroom bathroom. Everyone would know that I poo, and we can't have that! So, I stood under a tree willing it away with the strength of my mind, and yeah that didn't work so well. The next thing I know, I've got a lump in my underroos and I'm running towards the classroom. I pulled down my pants, sit on the toilet, and that lump plops on the floor! So what the hell do I do?! Well the only logical thing...I take off my socks...to clean it up, of course. Now, it's smeared everywhere, My bare feet are on the cold floor, I have crap covered socks in my hand, the smell is horrendous, and the sounds of an entire second grade class are filling up the room outside...I'll save you all the mean kid details, but I did get out.  ♪ I gotta get out of this place, if it's the last thing I ever do♪  (The Animals)


4 - What is one thing you have always kept a secret and why have you kept this a secret for so long? See 2 & 3 above  Why so long?! Really?! and ruin my uber cool image?! ♪ Secret agent man, secret agent man♪  (Johnny Rivers)
5 - What's your best advice for us habitual coffee drinkers as to not have to poop right after drinking it? Really?! I don't think I'm qualified to answer this. I can't keep from smearing crap on the walls, let alone keep it inside! ♪ Inside I'm slowly dying, but the rain won't hide my crying crying cry ey ing♪  (Allure)