Writer's Workshop: Bad Mommy's Movie Crap

It's once again Writer's Workshop day with Mama Kat. Today's prompt: A movie that you probably should've previewed before letting your kids watch

Let me just say before you read this horrifying story, and judge me for the terrible mom that I must be to do this; you must know that Bear and I are probably more open than most to what our children can watch and listen to. I really don't like artist censorship, and I like many different artists, so we have a very large collection of "explicit lyrics" stickers. And, there, certainly, is no 2 second delay button on our mouths, so the girls have definitely heard their fair share of cuss words over the years. ♪cuz I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me♪ (Beck)

However, they were raised with the understanding that certain words are for grown-ups, and there was no shortage of soap should they desire to express themselves as a grown-up. So, don't think they're running around spewing mouth vomit like drunken sailors and truckers. I am proud to say that I have never had to pick up the remains of a premature F-bomb, and until about age 10, #1 thought "jerk" was a "bad word." At age 13, in a true coming of age tradition, they were finally authorized to use the word "crap" so long as it was done infrequently and appropriately. And, boy, can my kids use crap appropriately! I tell you they are crap experts! You should see all the crap on their floor. Oh, and the crap that comes out of their mouth!

Anyway, on to the movie situation.

So, because of our more liberal ways, (gasp! did she just say she's a liberal?! gasp) the girls have been watching select rated "R" movies since their pre-teens. The guidelines for what makes rated "R" okay? Simple: violence and blood = good,  Sexuality and nudity= bad.  (I know probably not all that logical, but it works for us, and no, my kids aren't heading for a life as serial killers because they viewed some scary movies! They do understand It's a Movie! Movies/games do not create killers!)  Sorry, off my soapbox, now.  ♪We're the renegades of funk, the renegades of funk, C'mon ♪(Rage Against the Machine)

Bear and the girls share a love of scary movies, so, much of what they watch fall into the blood violence = good category. We watched the first Underworld together, and it was great. There were werewolves and vampires, (the non-sparkling kind,) a great story with a strong female lead, and plenty of action. We couldn't wait to see Underworld 2.

As soon as it came out on DVD (about 4 years ago,) we sat down to watch it, as a family. And, as soon as it came on, we promptly pushed STOP! I mean we couldn't get to the remote fast enough! I think I was diving to cover the screen while Bear struggled to get the remote to cooperate. The opening scene was nothing but sex! A full out orgy!!

WTF?! What kind of crap is that?! I know I should've previewed it first, but nothing about the first one would lead me to think there would be anything inappropriate in the second one! No...THING!

Bad Mommy Bad Mommy! *bangs head on keyboard*

side note: A: This was prior to the fabulous IMDB parental info, which is fabulous for screening movies. And, B: I'm not a prude. I like sex and openly talk about sex with my kids, but we were just not ready for this type of visual! ♪Sex is natural sex is fun sex is best when it's one on one♪ (George Michael)


  1. haha, sounds like something that I am sure to do one day :) My son is only three (which i suppose is old enough in some circles) so I watch tons of stuff with him. Although, I must say, I prefer him to see sex over violence. It's interesting...

  2. ROFL! I still remember when my dad would cover my eyes. Problem was I could usually still see and the audio was bad enough.

  3. the music in the background that you added was too funny. At least your movie didn't have dead children in it. Mine on the other hand....well lets just say it made daddy cry.


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