Fat Bottom Girls

Have you ever had a friend that is always got something going on? Is always the one with the crazy story that makes you think: there's no way that could have happened, but you know if it would happen to anyone, it would, of course happen to her? Well, I have one of those friends, and I can always count on her for entertainment, as in 3 Ring circus entertainment.

My friend, (I'll call her Mo) is a single mom, and she's very desperately looking for love. Only it's not the "L-O-V-E" kind as in the song by Nat King Cole. She needs love with a little something more. you will certainly never hear her say that you can live on love alone. Now, I ain't saying she's a Gold Digger, but... (Kanye West)

For years, I've watched Mo go on date after date, match site after match site, weeding out the "winners" from the "losers," telling their stories, and leaving a trail of poor love stricken guys in her wake. Now, Mo is not the type to sit around waiting for a guy. She has a good job, owns her own house, and takes very good care of her child. (Independent by Webbie)

She would just like a nice, but preferably rich, guy to share the bills with, and if given the choice between looks or money, she will choose money every time.

In her latest caper, the tables have been turned.

It had all the makings of a fairy tale romance. (Cue in the forest animals, and the Prince charming music) They met on the internet, there was instant chemistry, and they decided to meet up. He met her for drinks with his best friends, and everyone had a fabulous time. Then it was time to pay the tab. Now, my friend, is not completely opposed to going dutch, she would just prefer for someone else to pay, and wouldn't we all? So the bill comes, and he asks her to pay it because he doesn't have any money, and as it turns out has 2 kids and hasn't worked in months. She pays for the drinks and calls it a night.

The next day, having had a good time, he calls her, to hang out again. My friend, lets him know that she had a good time with him and his friends, but until he gets his act together and gets a job, that she can't date him, but they can be friends.

After a moment of silence he responds with "you know, when I first saw you, I thought 'wow! she's a big girl!' but I gave you a chance." He went on to say " I gave you a chance, but you're not willing to give me a chance because I don't have a job?!" "The kind of guy you're looking for doesn't want a big girl like you." (hasn't he heard Queen? doesn't he know Fat Bottom Girls make the rocket world go round?)

After picking her jaw up off the floor, she, of course, advised him to lose all of her information. (in my mind this plays out like Aretha Franklin in the Blues Brothers singing Think.)

Unfortunately, I think it's had a bigger effect on her than she will admit, because she's been eating only carrots like some kind of crazed rabbit, and is taking...spin class?! (Bicycle Race by Queen)

So, is it karma? Is this payback for the men that weren't "good" enough? Or was this just another shallow jerk in the dating pool? and one of those times when I'm glad to be married.

Today, Mo had lunch with a new guy she met, and it looks promising...he's an engineer, and he paid for lunch.

Oh, and he says no one should tell her to lose weight. Keep your fingers crossed. (I'm hearing Prince charming music, again.)