Fat Bottom Girls

Have you ever had a friend that is always got something going on? Is always the one with the crazy story that makes you think: there's no way that could have happened, but you know if it would happen to anyone, it would, of course happen to her? Well, I have one of those friends, and I can always count on her for entertainment, as in 3 Ring circus entertainment.

My friend, (I'll call her Mo) is a single mom, and she's very desperately looking for love. Only it's not the "L-O-V-E" kind as in the song by Nat King Cole. She needs love with a little something more. you will certainly never hear her say that you can live on love alone. Now, I ain't saying she's a Gold Digger, but... (Kanye West)

For years, I've watched Mo go on date after date, match site after match site, weeding out the "winners" from the "losers," telling their stories, and leaving a trail of poor love stricken guys in her wake. Now, Mo is not the type to sit around waiting for a guy. She has a good job, owns her own house, and takes very good care of her child. (Independent by Webbie)

She would just like a nice, but preferably rich, guy to share the bills with, and if given the choice between looks or money, she will choose money every time.

In her latest caper, the tables have been turned.

It had all the makings of a fairy tale romance. (Cue in the forest animals, and the Prince charming music) They met on the internet, there was instant chemistry, and they decided to meet up. He met her for drinks with his best friends, and everyone had a fabulous time. Then it was time to pay the tab. Now, my friend, is not completely opposed to going dutch, she would just prefer for someone else to pay, and wouldn't we all? So the bill comes, and he asks her to pay it because he doesn't have any money, and as it turns out has 2 kids and hasn't worked in months. She pays for the drinks and calls it a night.

The next day, having had a good time, he calls her, to hang out again. My friend, lets him know that she had a good time with him and his friends, but until he gets his act together and gets a job, that she can't date him, but they can be friends.

After a moment of silence he responds with "you know, when I first saw you, I thought 'wow! she's a big girl!' but I gave you a chance." He went on to say " I gave you a chance, but you're not willing to give me a chance because I don't have a job?!" "The kind of guy you're looking for doesn't want a big girl like you." (hasn't he heard Queen? doesn't he know Fat Bottom Girls make the rocket world go round?)

After picking her jaw up off the floor, she, of course, advised him to lose all of her information. (in my mind this plays out like Aretha Franklin in the Blues Brothers singing Think.)

Unfortunately, I think it's had a bigger effect on her than she will admit, because she's been eating only carrots like some kind of crazed rabbit, and is taking...spin class?! (Bicycle Race by Queen)

So, is it karma? Is this payback for the men that weren't "good" enough? Or was this just another shallow jerk in the dating pool? and one of those times when I'm glad to be married.

Today, Mo had lunch with a new guy she met, and it looks promising...he's an engineer, and he paid for lunch.

Oh, and he says no one should tell her to lose weight. Keep your fingers crossed. (I'm hearing Prince charming music, again.)


  1. Holy cow - I'm so sorry for your friend. I hope she can meet Prince Charming sooner than later. I wouldn't say it's the whole "what comes around goes around" bit ... it was just a rude guy. Over from SITS to welcome you to the gang! Have a great night.

  2. So sorry for your friend! I'm sure she'll meet the right guy soon... she sounds lovely anyway!

  3. I love that you mix in songs with your stories!

    I have a similar friend, but she only tries to date the Brad Pitts of the world.... and she's no Angelina Jolie. Do you have a song for that?

    I came by to welcome you to SITS! We're happy to have you with us!

  4. For a moment I was worried you were my BFF that started a secret blog when you described the friend that is so entertaining :)

    But I'm married and raise a kid with the hubby (whew...)

    Loved the post. Stopped over from SITS to say welcome to the site :)

  5. Great storytelling. I felt SO bad when that jerk gave her dating "advice."

    Stopping by to say welcome to the SITS community!

  6. Thanks to all of you for all of the great comments! I'm sure this won't be the last you here of my friend :0)

  7. Sounds like she had to get stung by the loser to fully appreciate the winner. I hope it works out!

  8. mo will find that perfect man, when she isn't looking! as hard as it is to realize that...it is totally true....but i hope that this new guy works out for her!

    thanks so much for stopping by my blog!
    thanks so much for the sweetest comment today, and for taking the time to read more of my blog! that made my day!
    i've been needing a sweet comment like that!
    THANK YOU!!!!

    thanks for following!
    right back at you!!


  9. tell your friend to stick to her guns; she has every right to expect to date a man who is financially as independent as she isT

    just stopping by from sits to say hi. hope you'll do the same.

  10. What an awful date. At least she found out quickly that he wasn't worth her time.

    Welcome to SITS!

  11. It does seem like a bit of karma, but the guy was still a jerk!

    I'm dropping by from SITS Welcomistas to welcome you to the family!

  12. Wow, I'm glad she dumped that one. The nerve of him! I wish her well.

    Stopping by from SITS


Thanks for stopping by! sing me a song.