I wasn't raised by my father. He had the luxury of only seeing me a couple times of year. Because of this, he never had to discipline me, and that made him the coolest Dad ever! Well, right up until I was 17 and he did this: ♪just 17, and you know what I mean♪
Dad had just moved to Florida and was now about a 2 hour drive from me. I was spending my first Christmas with him at his new home. Spending his first Christmas with me was Bear, my then, boyfriend. (and after this little family display, I'm lucky he stuck around)
Dad, with his twisted sense of humor, and step mom, who always goes right along gave me these 3 presents:
A giant jar of pickles. Why?! I have no idea. Must have been a great idea to them, but I just didn't get it. I don't even like pickles that much! "Seriously, you got me pickles?!" I laugh nervously and go along with it. Thinking "Oh my God, my boyfriend is here, how embarrassing!"
Then I move on to the next gift, figuring the gag gift is out of the way, so this next one has to be good.
A case of beef Stew. Beef Stew?! I play this one off as okay because I really like beef stew. "Cool, thanks."
For sure, the next one will be really nice. I grab the next gift and start to tear into it. I feel the wave of terror rise from my feet up to my now very red face as I realize what I'm about to open in front of my BOYFRIEND! How could they do this to me?! I know they didn't have to live with me, but doesn't everybody know that no teen girl wants her boyfriend to see her:
TAMPONS!
Yes, you heard me right; my Dad had just given me tampons! And not just a small box of tampons, oh, no, he gave me a super jumbo elephant in the room box of tampons! My Dad was laughing hysterically, and all I wanted to do was run and hide. My life was over! I just knew Bear would leave me and tell the whole world about my crazy family! ♪it's the end of the world as we know it♪ (REM)
That's when Dad announces that my real gift is inside the tampon box. I had to pull all the dang things out to find that he had wrapped money around the tampons!
Money! Woohoo! I love money! Thanks Dad, but next time...seriously...please just put it in an envelope!
Today's prompt at Mama Kat's was: A Christmas Gift that was not well received.
hahaha...this is kinda so funny because we used to give silly gifts all the time...those mean the world! love it...happy holidays
ReplyDeleteOk I laugh only because it wasn't me. I can't imagine...I was almost afraid those were the only things you got.
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious! I bet once he found out your boyfriend was coming he came up with the tampon idea :)
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Mama Kats
Oh. Em. Gee. Mortifying!
ReplyDelete"Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird." Cheap Trick
roflmbo.. I would have busted a gut laughing and sounds like bear fits right in
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA Nice!
ReplyDeleteWhoa! I would be so mad! :) Sounds like you were a good sport tho!
ReplyDeleteI didn't get his humor! Glad there was money in the box.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Now that is a creative way to give a present.
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny. I kind of love these types of stories.
ReplyDeleteThis year we are giving my in-laws a singing pickle. It is a tradition to hide a pickle in the Christmas tree and the first one to find it gets a treat.
Oh my! That is odd and hysterical! I have been to a bridal shower where the gift was similar and that is odd too!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds awful and hilarious at the same time!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from Mama Kat's.
OMG that sounds just like something my Dad would do. Totally. And since he HAS done things like this, I can feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteHa Ha! That is too funny! My dad used to do things like that to me too. I guess it's just a "dad" thing.
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Jonie
easyascutandpaste.blogspot.com
Priceless! I had a friend who was famous for giving outrageous gifts. One year for his sister he welded a small piece of steel together and told her that her present was inside. He nervously watched as she had to hacksaw - that's right, HACKSAW - her way into it. Just as she got to the end she broke the blade and my friend looked mightily pleased with himself. So what was inside? A new hacksaw blade. He couldn't have planned that gag any better!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Money is great, but yah, I can see where the box of tampons would not be exactly considered funny by a teenage girl with her visiting boyfriend in the room. LOL!
ReplyDeleteToo cute! It made me think of the first Xmas my now husband (then boyfriend) spent with his family. I happily opened a wrapped box of... condoms. In front of his whole family. He laughed hysterically as I stammered and threw them back at him. Juvenile? Sure. But we'll be celebrating more than 15 years together this August.
ReplyDeleteI love this! Reminds me of the first Christmas my hubs (then boyfriend) and I spent with his family. I opened a lovely gift that turned out to be CONDOMS! I stammered as he laughed his head off.
ReplyDelete