Teen Mom, No Regrets

At 9, I had my first kiss
At 10, I got my first period.
At 11, I lost my virginity.
At 13, I had my first glass of whiskey.
At 14, I was sexually active.
At 16, I dated a married man.

At 17, I fell in love, got pregnant, and fought to keep my child. My mother wanted me to get an abortion and wait til I was "older" to have children. She threatened me with never seeing Bear again. She attacked me and accused me of doing "it" to hurt her, and couldn't understand why I would do this to embarrass her. So, I moved out and got married.

By 18, when my oldest daughter was born, I had lived plenty. I was young mother but I loved my daughter and my husband and was determined to make it work. Bear and I were ready to be parents and we made sacrifices to give our daughter everything she needed.

At 20, I had our second daughter and though it was difficult raising 2 babies, we did what we had to, to care for our children. We didn't leave them with our parents so we could go out partying. We didn't expect someone else to pay our bills. We paid for daycare so we could work. We bought new clothes for them, not us, and put them above anything else. It wasn't easy being young parents, but we made it work.

At times we were hungry, but our children never were. We took some jobs that were demeaning and embarrassing. We lost our car, and lived in a hotel far from home. We walked to work in the heat and in the cold, but of all these things our children do not know.

What they knew was love, and laughter, and joy and happiness. We may have been "too young" financially but our hearts were old enough to love. Our age didn't matter for giving our children what they needed most.

At 25, we tried to have more children.
At 30, I was told I was in pre-menopause.
At 36, I am fully menopausal. (yes, I did that young, too.)

If I had waited until I was "older" to have children, waited til I had more money saved, or had a career, or a nice home, if I had waited, I would never have known the love of my children. The feeling of holding a child that needs you. The joy that comes from giving them what they need and sometimes spoiling them with what they want. If I had waited, I would not have the 2 things I'm most proud of in my life; my 2 beautiful girls.

Teen pregnancy is not always the best thing, but sometimes it's the right thing. Don't assume that just because someone is young that they can't be a good parent. With Mother's Day approaching, I'm happy to say that I'll be enjoying it with my husband of 19 years, and my 2 amazing girls, and that's the only gift I need.

What some said was a mistake, I say is the greatest decision I ever made.

Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking. lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making(LeeAnn Womack)

19 comments:

  1. I'm sure your daughters love you. You ARE the best... :)

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  2. What a fantastic post! Beautiful and bittersweet, all at the same time. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. I absolutely love this post.

    I got pregnant at 17, which in all honestly is insane because I began having unprotected sex at 14. I would do nothing differently, my child showed me the reason for living outside myself, and that's a lesson only experience can teach. she literally saved my life.

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  4. This is such a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing it!

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  5. it's amazing how life works out...
    you beat the odds, and I'm so pleased for you...

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  6. Wow, thank you for allowing me to see things from a different perspective. I am guilty of stereotyping all teenage mothers and your words have reminded me that I shouldn't do that.

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  7. I was also a teen mom and still hanging tight with my husband. We that have endured this challenge must become the rule not the exception.

    I love your lines "Teen pregnancy is not always the best thing, but sometimes it's the right thing. Don't assume that just because someone is young that they can't be a good parent.

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  8. What a wonderful post. Thanks for sharing it. :)

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  9. Stopping in from PYHO. What a beautiful story. It was all meant to be. God knew what card you would be dealt and having your daughters at a young age is how it was supposed to be. Thank you for sharing.

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  10. Wow...thanks for sharing your story!! What an amazing one! You should write a book!

    Stumbled you...would love if you could stumble me back:
    http://www.keenlykristin.com/2011/05/bin-ladens-death-your-reaction.html

    Thanks!
    Kristin :)

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  11. What a well written post!!! I want to give you a huge hug for giving up so much for your children! I admire your sacrifices and am so glad they have such a loving mother that gave up her life so they can have a good one.

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  12. I just stumbled you, I commend you for this post, great job! Thank you for speaking out for those of us who had kids early, in the in the pros outweighed the cons in my life as well. There is a reason for everything. If you would like to follow me on Stumbleupon here is the link http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/sblossoms/

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  13. New follower and stumbled this post. Love your blog design:) Wow, impressive you beat the odds for sure! You should be proud:)

    Laura
    www.agoddessoffrugality.com

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  14. Thanks for such an inspiring post! Your girls are very lucky to have a mother that is willing to sacrifice so much for them. Being the right "age" or the right "financial status" doesn't make a good parent. A good parent is a person that puts their children first and makes sacrifices so that their children can have a good life. I had my kids young and while it wasn't always easy, it has been well worth it. I have no regrets. They have watched my husband and I struggle, but I really think that helps to put it into perspective how much we are willing to do for them. They have seen the sacrifices we have made for them. And they appreciate it. In fact, having them has helped to push us to where we are now.
    Once again thanks for sharing!

    http://sulllivansoundoff.blogspot.com/

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  15. WOW! This was so touching. I have to admit, I'm one of those people who wish there were more institutions out there to prevent teen pregnancy, and I hate the teen pregnancy shows on TV right now. However, if there were more women like you out there speaking about your choice not to abort your pregnancy, the sacrifices you made to be a good mother, and the reality of the situation I think the world would be a better place! Your daughters are so lucky that you put them first and love them so much. Your story has really touched my heart, and enlightened me of world of a pregnant teen. I'm glad to get to know you. Happy mothers day! I found you through the Alexa Blog Hop! Stop by and visit! http://layneslovelylife.blogspot.com

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  16. What a wonderfully written post. Bravo to you for having the courage to share such personal thoughts. You really did start early for many things didn't you? But it is a good thing you started early. I believe we get pregnant only when it is our time to be pregnant. So those who get pregnant the first time they have sex, well they were meant to. Those who are infertile for years, perhaps are meant to struggle for a while first. Of course I might think differently if I was the one having trouble conceiving.

    I stumbled this.

    My posts: (2 different blogs)
    Pressure to Stop Breastfeeding

    Cutting Edge Therapies for Autism - Point to Happy

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  17. That gave me CHILLS :) Thanks for the uplifting read on such a hectic day for me. You have been stumbled by Makobi Scribe My post to be Stumbled is at How to use Ping-o-matic So sorry for the cut and paste, but I wanted you to know you have been Stumbled even though I am in the middle of the I Love My Mommy event!

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  18. Thank you so much for sharing and for your courage for your kids. I'm 27 with twins who are not yet a year old and *I* feel young to be a mom. None of my friends are even thinking about it yet. I've often thought about what it must feel like for a woman who had kids 10 years younger to go to PTA meetings where everyone is so much older.
    Anyway, thanks again!
    From TRDC.

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