Aloha Friday, Is He Cheating?

Today's question comes from a local morning radio show discussion.

A woman married 3 years notices that her husband isn't paying attention to her when she's talking to him at a restaurant, but instead he's looking around the room, and checking out all the women. This is a behavior change for him. Is he cheating?

My answer: No, you're just boring! Maybe you should pick up on these cues and change the subject. Ask him about something he's interested in and stop making the conversation all about you.

We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin

The polish on your toes and the run in your hose
And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes
You know talking about you makes me smile
But every once in awhile...I wanna talk about me
(Toby Keith)

What do you think? Is this a relationship problem? Is he cheating? or looking to?

Answer below, and then check out Island Life for more Aloha Friday. Have a great day!


  1. I love your answer! And agree!

  2. Not cheating, but probably doesn't want to be there either.

  3. Sometimes, it's those looks that keep the marriage together.

    Have a great Friday!

  4. I don't think he is cheating either. You probably have it spot on, he is bored... my husband does this all the time, but its not because he is cheating, or uninterested in me..we just both enjoy people watching! You can find some pretty interesting characters! It gives us more to talk about!

  5. Great answer, and I don't think he's cheating YET but if she doesn't change things to make her hubby look at her he may keep on looking & some day soon he may see something he likes. She better hope it's her. Girl get a new hairdo or lift up bra and show some cleavage. My gram use to say (in Italian of course) a man wants a prude for a wife, and a whore in bed. ~hehe~ Amen to that one NaNa

  6. Stopping by from Helicopter Mom's alexa hop. Have a good day!

  7. I don't think he is cheating because of that, but you never know. Her question might be from other things she has been noticing.

    It is rude. If your spouse bores you, feign interest and use the opportunity to pull her/him out to a subject you both enjoy. Don't just ignore the person.

    If he is just ogling other women, that's rude too and will hurt his wife. You can't stop someone from looking but it can be done discreetly.
    I love people watching and I do it, but not at the detriment of my spouse or relationship.

    She at this point needs to have a conversation with her husband before things get worse.

  8. I don't think he's cheating - but could eventually if she doesn't pay attention herself and figure out why he wasn't interested in what she was talking about at the restaurant. Maybe she was nagging him about something - I'd be looking around the room, too. ;)

    Aloha: Back to School Shopping - Let the Foraging Begin!

  9. Guys who are cheating act like they have something to hide....they aren't so obvious. I agree that he is most likely bored. And...I love that song!

  10. I don't think he's cheating but I do think his wife deserves his undivided attention. I think it's rude for him to be so obviously looking around like that.

  11. If this is the only reason she thinks he is cheating then he probably isn't. On the other hand if this is one of many reasons she thinks he might be cheating then he might be. She needs to do something interesting to keep her husband's attention. Just because you are married you can't give up on getting the man's attention.


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