I started blogging to tell my story, share my viewpoint, and make connections. Somewhere along the line, I lost of sight of that, and what was once a great outlet for me became work. I'm trying to get back in touch with me and why I started this.
I've struggled to balance blogging, work, and school, not to mention everything else that comes along with life. The latest life challenge has been my health.
I know that so many people have problems bigger than mine, so I try not to complain about it. But, sometimes a girl needs to vent!
Here's the thing:
I'm tired of: being in pain, lacking focus, feeling week, getting dizzy, relying on energy drinks, wondering if I'm keeping him satisifed enough, and feeling 88 when I'm only 38.
I hate: really being too tired, not feeling like going out, having to ask for help, not staying awake through a movie, and feeling 88 when I'm only 38.
I no longer: wear heels, feel sexy, write as much as I'd like, read as much as I'd like, feel confident, know that I'm enough for him, feel independent, but I still feel 88 when I'm really 38.
I worry: that I won't ever feel better, that I'm a burden, that love is not all we need, that I forgot something reallly important, that things are worse than they seem, that I won't make it to 88 because I feel this way at 38.
but,
I know: that he loves me, every day is a new day and a new opportunity, that I am so much better off than many others, that I have a lot of support, that I'm going to finally start my own business, that I can find time to blog if I try hard enough, that I'm eating healthier, and that today I may feel 88, but I'm only 38 so I have plenty of time.
♪It's a beautiful day♪ (U2)
You do have plenty of time! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you are feeling this way, though. xo
Self doubt is such a destructive little beast.... :-(
ReplyDeleteBelieve in yourSELF, belive in your LOVE, believe you WILL feel better, believe that you just feel tired because your body is telling you to rest... and once you have enough rest - your body will push you right back up on your HEELS!! ((Hugs)) Hope you feel better!
I love this because I feel the exact same way today! Let's start acting like we're 8 and then maybe we'll start feeling 28 even though we're 38!
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