I recently got into an argument with a friend who was upset about a blog post where I stated: one of my friends started seeing one of my other good friends and lying to her husband about it (they were separated, in her defense, though why I'm defending, at this point, I'm not sure.)
Now, in any of my posts about real people, I never name names, and if I do feel a name is needed to follow the story, I always give a fake one, but in this case, no name is given. As you can see, I even use a fake name for myself, (really?! you didn't know?! I wish my mom had given me such a cool name as Amethyst Moon, but alas, no.)
My point in case you're missing it: If I don't name names, and you read something that says you're lying, and you feel it is talking about you, well, maybe you are feeling guilty about something, like Oh, I don't know?! hmmm, let me see...maybe you're LYING?! Just a thought.
♪Heyyyyyyyy, White Liar ♪ (Miranda Lambert)
When she initially told me, that saying she lied, had hurt her, I truly couldn't remember what post she was talking about, and so I told her, it wasn't about her. (Because she really is not the only thing going on in my life, and so I mentioned her briefly in a post about October, I talk about many friends, I am an equal opportunity writer and if you do something worth writing about?, well, what do you expect?) When I looked through my posts and saw, that I did say she had lied, I tried to do the right thing and delete that portion, (because I really didn't set out to hurt her.) ♪I didn't really want to hurt you, I didn't really want to make you cry♪ (Soooo not the right lyrics to: Do you Really Want to Hurt Me by Culture Club, but it's the way it played out in my head just now)
This person actually thought everything I wrote as a Facebook status was about her, and apparently sat around with another friend trying to "decode" my updates. The funny part was many things were truly just random quotes or lyrics that struck me as interesting, and none of them were about her, but again if you read something and think it applies, well, maybe it's your guilt talking, or maybe you just tend to, mistakenly, think the world revolves around you.
♪You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you ♪
(Carly Simon)
You have to love texting, especially if you're a writer! Before texting, we had to try to argue on the phone with people, and hope we could get something out quick, before we were interrupted, and hope it was loud enough for the other person to hear over their own yelling. Now with texting, we can say as many words as our fingers will stand typing (and your carrier will allow) before pressing the send button. And, unlike verbal arguments, if you don't like what you said, you can actually hit the back button like it never happened, and then write what you should really say. (Boy, has this saved me from saying some really hurtful things, that can never be taken back.)
Unfortunately, with the texting war with above (probably former) friend, yesterday, I did not make good use of the back button, and I said at least one extremely hurtful thing, that while in the moment I thought she deserved, (because of the many hurtful things she has said about me,) in hindsight, I really wish I wouldn't have said it. ♪If I could turn back time, If I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you♪ (Cher)
I think she definitely needs to face some truths about herself, and her marriage. I don't appreciate her now saying I'm lying, because she doesn't like the way she looks if others know the truth. You see, I, and others she has accused of lying, have no reason to lie because we have nothing to gain by the lie or lose from the truth. Until, she can be honest with herself, and build her own self value rather than relying on the value others place on her, she will never find happiness. And, happiness is what I really want for her.
♪Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all ♪ (Whitney Houston)
Shoes
A recent comment got me thinking about how we live our lives, and the many shoes we wear. So...A poem
Shoes...I Have Worn a Few
I've worn some plain and simple ones
I've worn some brown some blue
I've worn some heels in shades of red
I've worn them clear straight through
I've worn them so the heels have broke
and the toe has split in two
I've worn some shoes that didn't match
because it's what I had to do
And though you've never seen these shoes
doesn't mean it isn't true
Some days I've been without my shoes
with nothing on at all
and other days just to keep warm
I've worn shoes that are too small
The shoes I've worn, they are my own
oh, that is very true
but if you asked
I'd take them off and share them all with you
And, of course, no post would be complete without a song or two, so...
♪Whose Bed have your boots been under...and who did you run to?♪ (Shania Twain)
Shoes...I Have Worn a Few
I've worn some plain and simple ones
I've worn some brown some blue
I've worn some heels in shades of red
I've worn them clear straight through
I've worn them so the heels have broke
and the toe has split in two
I've worn some shoes that didn't match
because it's what I had to do
And though you've never seen these shoes
doesn't mean it isn't true
Some days I've been without my shoes
with nothing on at all
and other days just to keep warm
I've worn shoes that are too small
The shoes I've worn, they are my own
oh, that is very true
but if you asked
I'd take them off and share them all with you
And, of course, no post would be complete without a song or two, so...
♪Whose Bed have your boots been under...and who did you run to?♪ (Shania Twain)
♪Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes,
Don't smoke, don't drink, what do you do?♪ (Adam Ant)
Don't smoke, don't drink, what do you do?♪ (Adam Ant)
♪These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you♪ (Nancy Sinatra)
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you♪ (Nancy Sinatra)
Dear Prudence-Wordful Wednesday
It's been pretty tense around here lately. We've had injuries & illnesses, breakups & makeups & breakups again, and certainly plenty of misunderstandings and drama! So much drama, you'd think we were in 90210, not 33511! My world is so twisted and turned, sometimes I don't know which end is up. And all I want is for everyone to just be happy.
♪Learn how to love and forget how to hate♪ (Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne)
Remember long distance dedications with Casey Kasem? I loved hearing the story and what song they would dedicate. So, today, here's my version:
I have a couple of very dear people in my life that are struggling, and feeling down. Whether you're struggling with love, struggling with finding yourself, struggling with keeping a grasp on reality, or just struggling to get out of bed; I dedicate this to you. It's time to come out of the shell you've built around yourself. Stop worrying about everything. Stop analyzing everything. Stop thinking about what you say after you say it. Stop running away and trying to hide your pain. Just live, love, and be happy and it will all fall in place. For you, I sing this song:
Dear Prudence by The Beatles
♪Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day The sun is up, the sky is blue It's beautiful and so are you Dear Prudence won't you come out and play Dear Prudence open up your eyes Dear Prudence see the sunny skies The wind is low the birds will sing that you are part of everything Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes? Look around round Look around round round Look around Dear Prudence let me see you smile Dear Prudence like a little child The clouds will be a daisy chain So let me see you smile again Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile?♪
For more Wordful Wednesday from others:
Fighting like Cats and Dogs
Have you ever watched a dog and cat try to communicate? The cat waves its paw at the dog in an attempt to warn it to back the heck up, and the dog encouraged by the cat's wave, continues to bother the cat. In dog language, a wave of the paw means "let's play" but to a cat it is the exact opposite, so they get frustrated with each other and then...fighting like cats and dogs.
Aren't men and women just like cats and dogs? Don't we have the same communication issues? As women, we say things we don't mean, and read into what they say as how we would mean it.
Example:
"Honey, I'm going out with the guys."
"Oh, okay, when will you be back?"
"I don't know. Not too late.Why?"
"Oh, no reason, have fun."
Hours later the woman, now irritated that he's not home yet, begins thinking about: where he is, what he might be doing.
She thinks: "Where is he? Why isn't he back yet? He knows I'm waiting up for him! He said he wouldn't be late. Why did he even go out, when I wanted him to stay home?!"
♪It's all in my head, I'm thinking 'bout it over and over again♪ (Tim McGraw & Nelly)
He returns home to find her sulking,
man asks "what's wrong?"
"Nothing!" and she begins to cry
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm fine! Just go to sleep!"
"Okay, good night"
A few minutes later after staring at him in an attempt to will his eyes open, or burn a hole in his head whichever comes first, she says "I can't believe you're actually sleeping!"
Well, didn't she tell him to sleep?! Isn't he doing exactly what he was told?! I know that's not what he's supposed to do, but he doesn't know that! He doesn't know all the thoughts that have been running through her head.
♪All the words you said running through my head♪ (T.A.T.U)
And so, it begins... fighting like cats and dogs!
Women want men to just instinctively know what we want. We want them to hear the implied meaning of our words, not what we are actually saying. We want them to jump through flames to prove their love. If the love is true, they will be rewarded.
Men want us to just tell them what we need. They want the shortest simplest route to get where they're going. They don't want to have to solve a riddle to earn the right to slay the dragon to possibly earn their maiden's hand. They want the maiden to just say do this or do that (but in a nice way, of course, after all, you are the maiden, not the dragon!)
So, while my cat and dog, may never understand each other, and may be destined to fight for ever, that is not the case with men and women. All we have to do is think like a dog. Know that men want to eat, sleep, play and hump an occasional leg. Make sure that leg is yours, by communicating simply and directly. Tell him what you really mean. Don't make him roll over and do tricks to get a treat. And, stop wondering "What if he says this, does he really mean this?" No! he doesn't! He's just a dog!
♪Who let the dog's out? Who who who♪ (Baha Men)
Aren't men and women just like cats and dogs? Don't we have the same communication issues? As women, we say things we don't mean, and read into what they say as how we would mean it.
Example:
"Honey, I'm going out with the guys."
"Oh, okay, when will you be back?"
"I don't know. Not too late.Why?"
"Oh, no reason, have fun."
Hours later the woman, now irritated that he's not home yet, begins thinking about: where he is, what he might be doing.
She thinks: "Where is he? Why isn't he back yet? He knows I'm waiting up for him! He said he wouldn't be late. Why did he even go out, when I wanted him to stay home?!"
♪It's all in my head, I'm thinking 'bout it over and over again♪ (Tim McGraw & Nelly)
He returns home to find her sulking,
man asks "what's wrong?"
"Nothing!" and she begins to cry
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm fine! Just go to sleep!"
"Okay, good night"
A few minutes later after staring at him in an attempt to will his eyes open, or burn a hole in his head whichever comes first, she says "I can't believe you're actually sleeping!"
Well, didn't she tell him to sleep?! Isn't he doing exactly what he was told?! I know that's not what he's supposed to do, but he doesn't know that! He doesn't know all the thoughts that have been running through her head.
♪All the words you said running through my head♪ (T.A.T.U)
And so, it begins... fighting like cats and dogs!
Women want men to just instinctively know what we want. We want them to hear the implied meaning of our words, not what we are actually saying. We want them to jump through flames to prove their love. If the love is true, they will be rewarded.
Men want us to just tell them what we need. They want the shortest simplest route to get where they're going. They don't want to have to solve a riddle to earn the right to slay the dragon to possibly earn their maiden's hand. They want the maiden to just say do this or do that (but in a nice way, of course, after all, you are the maiden, not the dragon!)
So, while my cat and dog, may never understand each other, and may be destined to fight for ever, that is not the case with men and women. All we have to do is think like a dog. Know that men want to eat, sleep, play and hump an occasional leg. Make sure that leg is yours, by communicating simply and directly. Tell him what you really mean. Don't make him roll over and do tricks to get a treat. And, stop wondering "What if he says this, does he really mean this?" No! he doesn't! He's just a dog!
♪Who let the dog's out? Who who who♪ (Baha Men)
Good Bye October!
Happy New Year! No, I'm not drunk (it's way too early in the morning) and no, I didn't already open the new calendar to January, just so I could sneak a peak at the cool pictures on my 2010 calendar (though, I'm really anxious to.) I'm referring to the Pagan new year. Before the calendar was divided into 12 months and 4 seasons, the ancient Celtics divided the year into 2 parts, the warmer brighter Summer, and the colder darker, Winter which began with the Harvest celebration that we know as Halloween. So, Happy New Year!
I am so happy to say goodbye to October and welcome in what is sure to be the great month of November. I had a lot of fun in October. I did the Race for the Cure, celebrated my oldest daughter's 17th birthday, & went to the Screamfest Horror Convention in Orlando. Unfortunately, I also threw my back out and missed 2 weeks of work and now am stuck doing therapy twice a week. I lost my awesome camera with all the even more awesome pictures on it (which my husband is sure to hold over my head for all eternity.) I had an emotional fit of jealousy which I so nicely topped off by checking my husband's phone records. Ugh! What is wrong with me?! I'm not that girl!
♪This shhh is bananas B A N A N A S♪(Gwen Stefani)
The worst thing about this October was our closest friends decided to have what was supposed to be an amicable separation. In comparison to other couples that have separated, it is pretty friendly, but boy has it had some very ugly awkward moments! And I seem to have been right in the middle of it all! ♪Stuck in the middle with you♪ (Stealers Wheel)
So, here we are in November. I'm putting October behind me and looking forward to a great month. Hubby and I are better than ever! Our friends are at least talking about their problems (and she stopped seeing my other friend.) I have a girls weekend planned in 1 week! I'm getting a new tattoo, today! I still have to do therapy, but at least it gets me out of work! I love Thanksgiving food! And I especially love Day After Thanksgiving shopping! And soon, we'll be singing holiday songs! ♪Silver Bells, Silver Bells♪ It is going to be a great month!
I am so happy to say goodbye to October and welcome in what is sure to be the great month of November. I had a lot of fun in October. I did the Race for the Cure, celebrated my oldest daughter's 17th birthday, & went to the Screamfest Horror Convention in Orlando. Unfortunately, I also threw my back out and missed 2 weeks of work and now am stuck doing therapy twice a week. I lost my awesome camera with all the even more awesome pictures on it (which my husband is sure to hold over my head for all eternity.) I had an emotional fit of jealousy which I so nicely topped off by checking my husband's phone records. Ugh! What is wrong with me?! I'm not that girl!
♪This shhh is bananas B A N A N A S♪(Gwen Stefani)
The worst thing about this October was our closest friends decided to have what was supposed to be an amicable separation. In comparison to other couples that have separated, it is pretty friendly, but boy has it had some very ugly awkward moments! And I seem to have been right in the middle of it all! ♪Stuck in the middle with you♪ (Stealers Wheel)
So, here we are in November. I'm putting October behind me and looking forward to a great month. Hubby and I are better than ever! Our friends are at least talking about their problems (and she stopped seeing my other friend.) I have a girls weekend planned in 1 week! I'm getting a new tattoo, today! I still have to do therapy, but at least it gets me out of work! I love Thanksgiving food! And I especially love Day After Thanksgiving shopping! And soon, we'll be singing holiday songs! ♪Silver Bells, Silver Bells♪ It is going to be a great month!
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