I recently got into an argument with a friend who was upset about a blog post where I stated: one of my friends started seeing one of my other good friends and lying to her husband about it (they were separated, in her defense, though why I'm defending, at this point, I'm not sure.)
Now, in any of my posts about real people, I never name names, and if I do feel a name is needed to follow the story, I always give a fake one, but in this case, no name is given. As you can see, I even use a fake name for myself, (really?! you didn't know?! I wish my mom had given me such a cool name as Amethyst Moon, but alas, no.)
My point in case you're missing it: If I don't name names, and you read something that says you're lying, and you feel it is talking about you, well, maybe you are feeling guilty about something, like Oh, I don't know?! hmmm, let me see...maybe you're LYING?! Just a thought.
♪Heyyyyyyyy, White Liar ♪ (Miranda Lambert)
When she initially told me, that saying she lied, had hurt her, I truly couldn't remember what post she was talking about, and so I told her, it wasn't about her. (Because she really is not the only thing going on in my life, and so I mentioned her briefly in a post about October, I talk about many friends, I am an equal opportunity writer and if you do something worth writing about?, well, what do you expect?) When I looked through my posts and saw, that I did say she had lied, I tried to do the right thing and delete that portion, (because I really didn't set out to hurt her.) ♪I didn't really want to hurt you, I didn't really want to make you cry♪ (Soooo not the right lyrics to: Do you Really Want to Hurt Me by Culture Club, but it's the way it played out in my head just now)
This person actually thought everything I wrote as a Facebook status was about her, and apparently sat around with another friend trying to "decode" my updates. The funny part was many things were truly just random quotes or lyrics that struck me as interesting, and none of them were about her, but again if you read something and think it applies, well, maybe it's your guilt talking, or maybe you just tend to, mistakenly, think the world revolves around you.
♪You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you ♪
You have to love texting, especially if you're a writer! Before texting, we had to try to argue on the phone with people, and hope we could get something out quick, before we were interrupted, and hope it was loud enough for the other person to hear over their own yelling. Now with texting, we can say as many words as our fingers will stand typing (and your carrier will allow) before pressing the send button. And, unlike verbal arguments, if you don't like what you said, you can actually hit the back button like it never happened, and then write what you should really say. (Boy, has this saved me from saying some really hurtful things, that can never be taken back.)
Unfortunately, with the texting war with above (probably former) friend, yesterday, I did not make good use of the back button, and I said at least one extremely hurtful thing, that while in the moment I thought she deserved, (because of the many hurtful things she has said about me,) in hindsight, I really wish I wouldn't have said it. ♪If I could turn back time, If I could find a way, I'd take back those words that hurt you♪ (Cher)
I think she definitely needs to face some truths about herself, and her marriage. I don't appreciate her now saying I'm lying, because she doesn't like the way she looks if others know the truth. You see, I, and others she has accused of lying, have no reason to lie because we have nothing to gain by the lie or lose from the truth. Until, she can be honest with herself, and build her own self value rather than relying on the value others place on her, she will never find happiness. And, happiness is what I really want for her.
♪Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all ♪ (Whitney Houston)